It’s been more than 6 months since I wrote a post. I took a break to go away and write my book. I have to report back to you even though none of you asked. I haven’t written my book yet. I realized that I am not the writer with the discipline to sit down at my writing desk (I don’t have a designated writing desk and I blame that for everything) everyday and write away. I also realized that I missed writing my blog posts. I wanted to write a post before the end of the year because I have this tendency to clear up, reset things at the end of the year as if that makes up for the laziness of the entire year and to feel good stepping into the new year.
I am not going to call these resolutions for 2020 because I am now older and I shouldn’t sound too hopeful and I need to use something more broad and vague and easy to wriggle out of. I am calling this my outlook for 2020 which sounds something like the government’s plan to link rivers – important and well-meaning and broad but not necessarily immediate or feasible.
Work ‘your thing’ into your daily routine
Now more than ever I feel a daily routine is of utmost importance as I see days slip by when I’ve not read or written and I feel a pain that’s part anguish, part guilt that quickly turns into self-reproach and despair. I am going to try and set aside a few hours every day to read and write. The bigger, more difficult task is convincing the family that I am doing something critical and absolutely essential and it’s not dispensable. Mommy has to read her story book. Mommy has to write her little silly stories and blog posts. She may not be disturbed when she is doing her thing. It could be listening to music, going for a walk, taking a class or watching a movie or talking to a friend. I believe all the wives and mommies and grandmothers need to set aside time everyday to do their thing when they’re not available to others. It’s ok to not be available for some time. It’s not selfish. It’s soul-sustenance.
Weight-loss goals – fun and consistency
I am definitely trying to lose weight this year too. I am an optimist. I am going to try and have fun doing it. In-spite of your intentions and resolve you never get around to reading James Joyce or John Milton because you’re bored to death and they put you into a coma. You’ll not do what you don’t enjoy. So I am going to try and do as many different things as I enjoy in trying to lose weight – Badminton, Table tennis, swimming, walking, skating, gym. The idea is to stay active in some way or the other. I’ll hopefully be more consistent when there’s variety and I am doing things that I enjoy more and that will translate into results. I will continue to try and eat healthy – no rules here too because I don’t like rules. I am going to drink more water, cut down on sugar and keep eating-out to a minimum. I am not setting myself a one-month, 3-month or 6-month goal. Let’s see how this goes.
Play more, Talk more with kids
One of Yuvan’s resolutions was for me to play with him for an hour daily. I love it that Yuvan says exactly what’s on his mind and in the shortest, snappiest way possible. I need to play with the kids, talk with them. It’s hard for me sometimes because I am quite bored by some of their games or I am advising them 5 minutes into a conversation. How boring am I? I should be a playmate and not be parenting but I find that hard when I see a bag full of paper rockets he made from A4 printer paper and Hasini has cut up my socks to make dresses for her dolls. This is an extremely hard task and I really don’t have a plan for this but I am going to give it a shot. Wish me luck!
Be open to new things
I played badminton this year and was surprised to find that I was pretty decent at it and I enjoyed it immensely. I wouldn’t have tried it if not for Jagan’s persistent coaxing. I started watching a lot of movies outside of Tamil this year urged by the suggestions from a good friend and I feel all the more enriched by the experience. By trying new things, I am expanding my horizon and opening myself up to more of the good stuff and I am learning. In the coming year, I want to be open to stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things even if it means fumbling along the way and being imperfect – wearing saree more often and more regularly, cooking from my cookbooks more, saying yes to travel and outings more often.
I’d love to hear your plans for the new year. Let me know in the comments.
Wish you a very happy and healthy new year! Hope 2020 is the year your dreams come true!