hung over clipart

How to be kind to hung over people

Wish you a very happy new year! May all your dreams come true this year! Wish we all show more kindness to each other this year. I received exactly one email from a dear reader – Aarthi about my kindness challenge who rightly pointed out that people might not be comfortable sharing their stories of kindness, in blowing their own trumpet. She also suggested that it might be easier instead to share stories of kindness that they have experienced from others. I think that’s a great idea too. I am still open to highlighting stories of kindness in this space, whether given or experienced. So please feel free to share your stories with me; you can mail me at Jayanthi.padmanabhan@gmail.com. In the meantime until the kindness stories start pouring in, I thought I’d pepper the series with a “How to be kind to x” post each week. This week it is all about being kind to hung over people. Let’s jump right in: How to be kind to hung over people Hung over people are in a bad state. They’re already regretting the previous night. Harder than being hung over is pretending not to be. So please make it a little easier and save the sermon for later.  If you’re the spouse, parent, child or sibling please wait for the next day to say anything. If you’re anybody else, it’s not your business. Avoid judging them by way of innocent sounding questions about their family, kids, drinking habits and such. You need not approve of any of those. If the hungover person is a woman, avoid snide remarks trying to shame her. It is still not your business. Avoid judging her by way of innocent sounding questions about her family, kids, drinking habits and such. You need not approve of any of those. Draw the blinds. Provide some food, a big jug of water, a combiflam or the preferred tablet for headache and let them sleep in. Give them their sunglasses if they find it too bright when moving around the house. If possible, cover for them. Try to take care of their chores or commitments for the day. Lend a patient ear if they want to explain or talk about the previous day. Hear completely and try not to say what you would have done in the situation. When they’ve recovered, objectively list out your problems, your expectations and a...
cabbage paratha

Cabbage paratha | A kindness Challenge

Tell me it’s normal to not want to read the newspaper because it makes you sad. If you’re here for just the cabbage paratha bit, please feel free to jump right down to the recipe. If you have a bit more time, please read on. I cried last week when I read the stories of the wives, mothers of fishermen from Kanyakumari who are waiting, praying for a miracle after cyclone Ockhi. They are fighting despair as each day passes, hoping that their loved ones would return alive somehow while also wondering how to make ends meet, how to explain to the little kids at home who are asking for their “Appa”, how to pay back the loan they took for the new boat, how to pay the school fees. I pray for all those families. I urge you to pray too, for them. I am a huge believer in the power of prayers. I think it can make a difference. It is hard to be kind Too often we underestimate the value of a kind act, a small prayer, a tiny favour. We’re doing these things so rarely these days because we’re very busy being enraged about the news. There’s rarely anything positive or happy in the news anyways. I can barely contain my despondency when I read about another rape, another hate crime, the lifelong court trials that suck the life out of the people before tilting in favour of the powerful. Add to that, the self-righteous, sweeping generalizations and twisted up narratives that people serve up on social media attacking their favourite people to hate. I don’t know if everyone has an Aadhar card, if everyone has a bank account. Everyone sure has a group they hate. Women, men, hindus, muslims, Christians, low-caste, high-caste, brahmins, devars, non-brahmins, Sanghis, Commies, Congis, Leftists, Thalapathy fans, Thala fans. It is hard to be optimistic. And precisely because it is so difficult, I think we need to try extra hard to stay hopeful, to be kind and to do good. Kindness, generosity and cheer are like muscles. We need to work them constantly so that we can put them to use when we need them most.   Goodness There was a friend in school who complained about being left out from the gang and acted up from time to time being frosty and even rude. I remember being miffed by the...
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