Beet khoa froyo

Lockdown questions – Is icecream essential?

This entire pandemic is god-bestowed, say the positive souls, the Cov-evangelists. It’s a total world-reset. The Cov-evangelists are gushing over the geese coming out to the canals, the crows cawing in the balcony and the pigeons shitting the outdoor A/C unit. The earth belongs to other creatures too, not just humans. Stay at home, share the world, be humble. Lungi makers and chilli powder companies are advising us on TV. Governments around the world are busy threatening smaller countries out of their medicines, stealing masks, fudging counts and keeping people from going into full-blown panic. News channels are doing little better than the perimmas, uncles in the family in conveying totally up to the minute information but mostly useless information. They are relaying anything but hope. It is up to the individual, you and me to think of the big things, the big little things in our everyday life – like is ice cream essential or not? Somebody’s got to ask the difficult questions. What’s essential? Really someone tell me. Is ice cream essential or not? What about Kara boondi, murukku, chips, chocolate, kara sev, samosa, egg puff, pizza, milagai bajji and onion pakoda? Who is to say these are extravagant? Imagine a little girl who has to have her daily cadbury’s chocolate bar, a thatha who needs onion pakoda and chips with his rasam rice, a young man who has to have a samosa with his chai, a sweet blogger who needs murukku or kara boondhi with her lemon and honey drink. As serious as alcohol addiction is and as callous as we are about it, there’s no real hope for snack fiends like you and me. I can hear the caring, self-righteous pricks wail “How insensitive and entitled of you, you Netflix watching wretch. People are dying without food. You want ice cream?! Shame on you.” This is a classic case of the “guilty of eating your food” phenomenon. At any point there is some hungry person somewhere. Will you not eat the biryani in front of you because of that? Now that you have biryani, you’ll expect raita too. Once you’re done with the biryani, an ice cream doesn’t seem too much of a stretch. All you shameless, entitled, Netflix watching bums, I don’t know about you, but my opinion is that ice cream and kara boondi are pretty much essential.   Ugly birthday cakes and ear-infections...
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